Wait a Few Months Before You Visit
In the book, I use the analogy that restaurants are like newborn babies. Everybody feels like they have to be the first person to go to the hot new place. I recommend letting the hype die down so the restaurant can fine-tune its systems and find its footing. For the food to become more consistent, I recommend waiting three months. I think the experience will generally always be better.
Tip the Maître d' on the Way Out, Not the Way In
The conventional wisdom is that you tip the gatekeeper to earn favor on your way in, but you should build this relationship over time. When you want to become a regular, it’s about taking the time and creating relationships and showing your appreciation. Being generous on the way out gets people to see you as the type of guest who acknowledges effort and is a better way for them to recognize you next time.
When It Comes to Wine, Be Explicit About Your Preferred Price Point and Boundaries
A big power move is to tell the sommelier something like, “Pick me out a bottle $75 to $100, I like full-bodied earthy reds.” I think people are uncomfortable with their expertise about wine. Rather than struggle, it’s best to give parameters about what you like style-wise. If you do provide price parameters, you don’t have to worry about them gouging you, which I think makes people very nervous.
Offer the Server a Taste of Your Bottle of Wine if They’ve Never Tasted It Before
If the server has never tasted the wine, especially if the bottle is over $100, offer them a taste. Even better if it’s much more than that. The waitstaff often doesn’t have a chance to try these bottles, though this is not true of every restaurant.
Avoid Ordering Steaks at Esoteric Temperatures
This happens a lot. People will say, “Medium rare to the rare side,” “rare but not bloody,” or “medium rare plus.” “Medium rare plus” happens all the time. What does that even mean? You have five temperatures. That’s plenty of room for nuance. Try to stick to the five: rare, medium rare, medium, well, and medium well. “Black and blue” is also acceptable.
Bring Gifts for the Kitchen
If you also work in restaurants, this is an unspoken rule, like how you wouldn’t show up to someone’s house empty-handed. It could be alcohol or spirits or a six-pack, but these days there are people who are sober who would not be able to enjoy that. A gift could be a bag of snacks, a box of cookies, baked goods, something that is an offering and a way to show appreciation. The kitchen is not necessarily on the receiving end of generosity from the guest. This is a great way to build relationships with restaurants while not just taking care of one person the way tipping the maître d' would. Restaurant insiders do that. Why can’t we all do that? Behave in the way restaurant people do.
