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Eating together, families gathered around a table, breaking bread, people talking over each other… the familiar chaos of a long drawn-out Sunday lunch has, for so long, been held up as the ideal way to eat. However, it doesn’t reflect the reality of our daily lives as we become increasingly atomised and isolated in our own bubbles of existence. Dining alone is becoming a normal experience. What was once to be avoided as a source of shame and loneliness, is now a choice by people who spend much of their daily lives alone and yet are completely ok with it.
Research shows that on average nearly a third of Europeans often eat every meal alone, with the Polish (40%) leading the way. Overall a third (33%) of all Brits eat all their meals alone, followed by around three in 10 German (31%), French (30%), Spanish (29%) and Italian (29%) consumers.
Dining alone may come easily to some, but others still struggle with the idea. In fact, eating alone in a crowded restaurant is an experience that can actually reveal a lot about ourselves. How are we in our own company? How do we think others perceive us? Do we feel isolated? It can be a meditative practice that if done right can nourish much more than our bodies. Here are a few tips for eating alone from those who do it regularly.
Sit at the bar
A dank bar on a stolen afternoon is often where you’ll find people on their own chatting to the barperson. So if the restaurant you’re eating at has a bar, sit at it. You get the benefit of being able to watch the bar staff at work and make conversation as they do, but you’ll also have a vantage point to observe the other diners and to see people coming and going. Also, the punter who sits at the bar looks like an insider or regular to the other diners.
Make friends with the staff
The front of house staff are your friends in this scenario, so get to know them. Ask for their recommendations on what to order and find out what their favourite item on the menu is and why. If you are visiting a city and you’re dining alone, you can ask them to recommend things to do – they always know the best watering holes and clubs to go to.
Choose the right time
It’s always better to eat early if you’re dining alone. Try to get your table outside of peak service times when staff are under pressure and you might be holding a two top that they’re looking to turn. If you go early, you might get an early bird deal, you’ll also be able to chat to the staff when they’re at their most relaxed.
Small is best
Order the tasting menu if there is one as you will break your meal up into smaller plates and have more interactions with the staff as they explain each course to you.
Bring a book
Even if it’s just to appear smarter than you actually are you can bring a book to peruse while you’re waiting for your food to arrive. People used to read newspapers while waiting, but nobody even knows what they are anymore, so a book is a good prop. Extra points for a heavyweight intellectual tome and you’ll put other diners at ease so you can concentrate on what you’re really doing which is eavesdropping on conversations and, if you’re lucky, a couple fighting.
Bring a notebook
Taking notes on each course in a notebook is an old trick to make the staff think that you’re a restaurant critic. Try lifting the porcelain up to see the stamp underneath if you want to pose as a Michelin inspector. Even if you’re not interested in impressing anyone, try it anyway… describing the food and the experience of dining alone is not only a great way to remember your meal, but you might be surprised at the creative thoughts that emerge.
Scroll mindlessly on your phone
It’s probably what you’ll end up doing anyway, but it’s worth making sure that your device is at least fully charged so you’re not left starring at the wall. Take photos of the dishes when they come out and ask the waiting staff for the right tags when you’re posting. Why not use your phone to drop a few positive reviews of the restaurant on TripAdvisor or Yelp? Let the staff know you’re doing it.
Set up a video call
You can actually have a friend or family member to dinner if you set up a video call while they are eating in another part of the world. If you have a laptop with you all the better, but a phone or tablet works too. Make sure you find a well-lit corner to sit in and be aware of the noise levels.
Enjoy your meal
Try eating mindfully by being fully present for the whole experience, enjoying the sights, sounds and flavours that surround you. It’s a great chance to explore your palate and to fully appreciate the art that goes into making your meal.
Take a tour
A local food tour will take you on a taste safari of the local sights, you’ll eat well and meet some other people who are on their own. It’s a perfect way to pass an evening when you’re in a strange city with some time to kill.
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