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The Most Honest Job Ad for a Chef Ever Written

By FDL on

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The Most Honest Job Ad for a Chef Ever Written

A chef has found himself with lots of online fans after he posted a rather frank advertisement for a sous chef to work alongside him at a restaurant in Clarkston, Glasgow.

It’s the job advert almost every chef has dreamed of writing and cuts right past the filly airs and graces and gets straight into the real side of a kitchen job.

“If your idea of a good sandwich is a tuna mayo like your gran makes then please don't bother responding, reads the opening few lines, continuing: “Seriously. Last time I was hiring for a place I got over 400 CVs. You know how long it takes to read 400 CVs?”.

The add then goes on to spell out the job role and exactly what it might entail: “I need a second in command to bang out a ton of semi-fancy food in a kitchen the size of a closet, and you also have to put up with my wife because I do, and she's the real boss.”

The money is, as the job advert reads, 'shite' and those without passion need not apply: “It's £7/hour and a cut of the tips. Don't ask for more because I don't have it. You'll literally be making more than me because I am essentially working for free until the place is paid off.”

“I'm dead serious about the money thing. Don't come to an interview and then say it sounds great but you've got your kid's school clothes to buy or whatever. I don't care. There's no money. There's £7/hr and some tips, 25-35 hours a week. Deal with it. I'm working 60 hours for half that. You can definitely get more hours once the place has legs, and eventually we'll be open at night so there's the possibility that you can be the solo guy (or gal) in charge of a lot of shifts if you're decent. In fact, if you're awesome and you have actual cooking skills, you'll probably be my best friend and you'll work 55 hours a week and I'll let you put whatever horrible music you enjoy on the stereo and buy you beer.”

The add is actually fairly funny and certainly cuts through the proverbial and gets straight to the point. He’s not even bothered about their personality, as they’ll work hard, have some ideas are passionately involved.

“I don't care if you're super outgoing or actually mute. I don't care if you've got tattoos. I don't care if you only work in kitchens to get away from your horrible significant other. I don't care about anything other than that you're fast enough not to be in the weeds constantly and you want to be part of something genuine and good. This is a mom-and-pop type restaurant. You can learn a lot. You can have a good degree of freedom. What you cannot do is be a pain in my balls because my life savings is on the line and I have to work with my wife all day so I don't have time for any primadonna bullsh*t. Come be part of a family and make better breakfasts than Glasgow knows what to do with or pursue your MasterChef dreams at one of the properly fancy places all over town (or bang out grease bombs at an all-night chippie if that's what you're into). I promise if you're good you'll be full-time in no time and I'll take care of you. I know how horrible this industry is, and I 'm not looking to take advantage of anyone or burn you out so I can go on holiday all summer. It's going to be a hard job, but I genuinely think we can do something refreshing and different in this city, so if that seems like the type of thing you're into, email your CV and we'll make it happen.”

You can see the full ad on Gum Tree. 

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